What Makes Me.....Me (part 1)

I have been reading "The Secret Message of Jesus: Uncovering the Truth that could Change Everything" by Brian McLaren. I'm not here to talk about the book much but it has really knocked me off the norm and made me think about myself in a whole different way. I don't know what about it has spurred on my self reflection but I have done some serious thinking on what makes me tick.... Partially, I think, I am doing this because I enjoy dissecting other people and trying to understand peoples' motives are and I have never really studied myself that well. It's been interesting to look and analyze my day to day actions. I feel like a great place to start is with my parents; after all, I am half of each of them. Now there is no question I 'mildly' resemble my father. I have to say we are striking men... but more on that later. I feel like my mom's main influence has to be my attitude. I'd like to think I carry some of her caring qualities and ability to see the better in people. I don't claim to be the quality of individual that my mother is by a long ways. For instance, I like to put Bryan first while my mother has always placed herself last. That is part of the reason that I am successful today is my mom carrying me through the tough stuff. And I assure that if she reads this she will simply say "that's my job... as a mom." Now Its easy to trace why my mother is who she is. She and I are loners, like her dad. Compassionate, like her mom. Caring, like both her parents.  I know that I am a mixture of that blood that worked out to be me. I means so much to me that I feel like my entire life's purpose could be to carry on that blood and that would be sufficient. I could write a book on my mother and not get enough out there so I will just move on. My work ethic, my strength, and independence all come from David. Now I list those off quickly but they are all things that I feel like I had to be taught. It is something to for me to pick up these qualities and I will forever be in debt to him helping me become the success I know I can be.
Now I grew up in a house of women for sure. I lived with four sisters for a good portion of my life and it is something that I love about me. Jessica has always been that example of making it work. Later in life she has been invaluable in the way she allows me to bounce ideas off her and can give me honest advice without a bias. She has a way of cutting the bull shit without being harsh. Lacey has always been the image of what I never was. I was not the strong attitude in high school, nor the athlete she is. I was never that attractive or had girl problems like she has boy problems like she has. But Lacey has a special place with me because she was someone that I always felt like took what I had to say to heart. She at least pretended to need my advice and enjoyed getting it. It was nice to be looked up to. And last but not least A & B. Now I dont mean to lump you two together but yall are always a pair. It has been a pleasure to watch you two grow up and see two different personalities form in the same environment. I enjoy seeing it every minute.....

 There is more to come on all this but I have to sleep now. I just felt like really getting a lot of this out on paper... You all mean so much to me... I don't say it enough... There are several more I want to include and plan to in future sections....

Dieting: Phase 2

So here we go...the dieting is now in full swing(not working out). I have officially jumped into my second phase of dieting. (Mostly because Phase 1 was a total Failure). Phase 2 is related more to the other side of losing weight, working out (because my fat butt can't stop eating). I am really excited about (dreading) the idea of getting in the habit of running and lifting. I am ready for lost long 45 minute (second) runs that are refreshing (miserable) and can really brighten (ruin) a day. I am so (not) excited about this new phase of dieting and I think it will be a great thing for my body.

Counting, Tests, and a Honeymoon

Heres the run down... heads up its complicated.

• Order - I want the turkey, with green beans and corn. That'll be $8.66 and 750 calories.
• Record- Now I pull out my phone the instant it goes through and record $7.50 in my expense counter for my personal finance class
• OOPS- I realize that I have switched the numbers and go back into the program and fix it.
• Eat- self explanatory
• Record- I search for the foods in my calorie counter and input them.
• I'M OVER BUDGET AND STARVING

Yes, ladies and gents my fat but has officially started a diet and let me just tell you it is really hard to comfort yourself without comfort food. Not to mention its 90 below outside and all my body wants me to do is bulk up. What in my right mind made me want to do this to myself. Not only am I in a bad mood, I can't eat to make it better. Oh yeah I remember why I'm doing this.... I want to be sexy. Okay not really, I just want to more closely resemble a normal human than a damn beach ball. With that in mind, I have got to find something to eat that kills the hungry but doesn't leave me 8 calories for supper. I made a legitimate effort today. I made myself some spaghetti for supper... It was awful. I did a horrible job picking sauces. Oh well, moving on. Everyone knows dieting sucks.

I have a test tomorrow in internet programming. It's hilarious how much I have stared at code the last week wondering what exactly is wrong with it and not having a clue how to figure it out. Last week I had a Strategic Management test from hell that I hope to get a grade back for soon and my test in audit is just around the corner. School is officially no fun at all. Maybe I can get a jump on it soon.

And the good news for this post..... The honeymoon is booked. I'm pretty excited about this part. Its going to be beautiful. I bet you wish you could come... too bad. haha
Anyway I need to go now.... I have to find something to eat.

A boy, a man, and a groom

There is a boy that I know very personally. He makes me laugh sometimes when I think of the things he does. When I look him in the eye everyday it is even more amusing because everyday he looks less like the boy that he is. But there is no doubt. He sleeps until noon on Saturday and then proceeds to watch Tom and Jerry. He likes to eat fast food and ice cream, watch things burn and blow up and play sports. The easiest way to tell that he is a boy is his lack of concern for those around him. Good or bad, he simply thinks about how things affect him and is incapable of placing himself second.

Now there is another personal acquaintance that I know exceptionally well. He is a man. There is no doubt. He he has a mustache and beard. Monday through Friday he gets up and goes to work. Sometimes he works well into the evening to make sure that the work gets done. If you look in his eyes, they look tired. Most of his smiling is done to be courteous, not because he is happy. A nice evening is one on the couch with his girl beside him watching some funny movie that takes him out of reality. Its not all bad for him though. He has a loving smile and takes care of himself for the most part. He is proud of what he has accomplished as a man. He has earned the respect and the confidence of those around him. 

Now the final person of interest is a groom to be. Now this is one excited guy. He looks forward to his wedding in July amongst his family on a beach. He is excited about a new life that waits for him with his new wife. He has his concerns, too. He is nervous about this type of commitment. He has no doubt that she is the one but its scary to know that she will rely on him so heavily. When he things of husbands he says he sees things like strong silent men who work long hours and lose that personality that they had as kids. He's afraid he's coming to the end of the time that he can lay around the room and belch and fart and no one care. He is just a little scared. I pray for him that he will be the man he needs to be every night.